AngiePen ([info]angiepen) wrote,
@ 2005-08-20 21:27:00
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Entry tags:fanfic, rps, story

Fic: Soap
Title: Soap
Author: AngiePen
Pairing: Orlando/Eric
Rating: R
Summary: Eric gets a bit impatient and learns that shortcuts have drawbacks.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone you recognize. I know nothing about their social lives or sexual activities, more's the pity. This is fiction, period. It is done as a labor of love and I make no money from it.
Note: This is from the memething (see previous post) and has been dinked with a bit, but not severely. I'm mainly posting it separately to make it easier to index and link to a couple of communities.



"What do you mean you didn't bring the lube??" Orlando asked incredulously over his shoulder. "Well, go get it!" He turned and arched into the steaming spray of the shower, enjoying the soothing heat. He and Eric hadn't seen each other for months and the guy was so bloody huge, he was always tender the next morning after reunion-sex, no matter how carefully his lover prepped him. No way they were gonna do shower-sex without lube.

"No, come on," Eric protested. "Too far away. And we don't need it anyway. Here, this'll do."

"What? It's ten feet away on the nightstand, what--?" Orlando cut himself off with a shriek when Eric's soap-covered finger slid into his arse. "OWWW! Ow, ow, ow! You stupid shit that fucking hurts!!!" Orlando spun in place to present his burning backside to the flowing water, using one hand to try to encourage, push, splash, rub, anything to get water into the afflicted area and wash out the soap that was burning like acid, while using the other to punch his dumbshit boyfriend in the chest, the face, anywhere he could reach. "Haven't you ever gotten soap on a cut or a scrape?! Owwwwwww!"

All Eric could manage was a babbling stream of "Sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry, really, sorry!" while fending off Orlando's fist. His aghast expression did a little -- a tiny bit -- to tamp down Orlando's anger, but he gave him one last punch for good measure as the burn finally began to subside a little.

"You are so not getting laid again this weekend!"



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[info]whitewizzy
2005-08-20 10:47 pm UTC (link)
*cloapses*
Yes!

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 06:53 am UTC (link)
[picks you up and dusts you off a bit]

Thanks! :D

Angie

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(Anonymous)
2005-08-20 11:23 pm UTC (link)
excellent!

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 06:53 am UTC (link)
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. :)

Angie

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[info]rawiyaparand
2005-08-20 11:25 pm UTC (link)
Oh, poor Eric!

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 06:54 am UTC (link)
Poor Eric?! What about poor Orlando?!?! He's the one in pain, after all! LOL! If Eric feels bad right now, well, he'd better! ;)

I'm glad you enjoyed it. [grin]

Angie

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]lolabelleb
2005-08-20 11:52 pm UTC (link)
Now this was an honest story.

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 07:05 am UTC (link)
Thanks, hon. :) And yeah, I've always kind of wondered about the stories where a guy gets a hard pounding using soap for lube.... [wince] I'll bet Eric won't ever do that again, at least. ;)

Angie

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[info]dinalphiel
2005-08-20 11:57 pm UTC (link)
oh, bad Eric, no sex for you *giggle*

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 07:10 am UTC (link)
Well, not for a while at least. ;) Thanks!

Angie

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[info]poetic_self
2005-08-21 12:33 am UTC (link)
*hehe* :D

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 07:10 am UTC (link)
Glad you liked it. [grin]

Angie

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[info]second_banana
2005-08-21 12:47 am UTC (link)
Awww.

I'd feel bad, but I can't stop giggling. So true that these things happen. I love it!

~Susan

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 07:12 am UTC (link)
Umm, don't tell the boys, but I can't stop giggling either! ;) Thanks!

Angie

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[info]tati
2005-08-21 01:19 am UTC (link)
i should feel sorry for Eric, and Orli too, but all i can do is giggle helplessly *does just that*
:)))

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 07:13 am UTC (link)
Hey, no reason to feel sorry for Eric -- this is all his fault for being a lazy-butt! ;) Thanks!

Angie

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[info]artemisallen
2005-08-21 01:36 am UTC (link)
Hilarious - and somehow cute.

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 07:13 am UTC (link)
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :D

Angie

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[info]causette
2005-08-21 02:44 am UTC (link)
hahahahahaha!!! That was brilliant! I loved it. So not what we usually get in slash fiction where everything is just a little too perfect sometimes :P

This was great =D

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 07:14 am UTC (link)
Yes, sometimes I just feel this compulsion to come in and dirty the glasses and mess up the sheets, you know? ;) Thanks, hon; I'm glad you liked it!

Angie

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[info]eenoogje
2005-08-21 05:03 am UTC (link)
LMAO, I always wondered about that , you know, when I read about shower sex and the boys use shampoo or soap as lube. This is just soooo much more real. (except for the part where Eric isn't getting laid , I am suspecting Orlando will come back on that *grin)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 07:16 am UTC (link)
I always have, too, and I finally had to write something about it. [grin] And yeah, I suspect Orlando will relent before the weekend is up, if only because once his [cough] injury feels better he's just punishing himself, too. He'll Eric worry for a while, though. ;)

Thanks!

Angie

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[info]galor5
2005-08-21 06:00 am UTC (link)
awww poor boys! but LMAO!!

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 07:17 am UTC (link)
Thanks! ;D Glad you enjoyed it!

Angie

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[info]bijouatweb
2005-08-21 06:52 am UTC (link)
*giggles*

Poor guys!

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 07:18 am UTC (link)
Well, poor Orlando at least. Eric's problems are his own dumb fault. Thanks!

Angie, grinning and thwapping Eric again

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[info]nokasslash
2005-08-21 02:26 pm UTC (link)
How can you make me swoon with just a few paragraphs?? *fans self*
Awesome fic!

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 07:20 pm UTC (link)
Aww, thanks so much! :D I'm glad you liked it!

Angie

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[info]montmorency
2005-08-21 08:14 pm UTC (link)
Glad to read it again. It's still hilarious on the second reading, plus I love to see a bit of debunking. Orlando is quite in the right, but even so, I wouldn't turn up my nose at a little making-up scene. unsubtle hint :)

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-21 10:14 pm UTC (link)
Heh, thanks, and we'll see. I don't generally do pwips, but if either of the boys has anything significant to say, and can say it while working toward orgasm, then I'll see what I can do. ;)

Angie

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[info]lukesaysno
2005-08-21 10:28 pm UTC (link)
finally! i've read stories where they use soap or other bath products and I always ignored it and pretended it was lube b/c yeah using soap is for lube is not a good idea. i mean i've never had butt sex :), but i know there's a reason they say not to use the stuff internally! haha. good job!

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-22 04:44 am UTC (link)
I guess Eric never read the label. [snicker] And yeah, I always sort of wince and eyeroll too when I read that sort of thing. Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. :D

Angie

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[info]sybrant
2005-08-22 11:51 am UTC (link)
hahahahaha!

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[info]angiepen
2005-08-22 11:52 am UTC (link)
Thanks, hon! ;)

Angie

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]sybrant, 2005-08-22 12:03 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]angiepen, 2005-08-22 12:26 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]spider_orchid
2006-01-07 07:02 pm UTC (link)
so glad you did this! soap hurts us preciousssss!

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[info]angiepen
2006-01-08 05:07 am UTC (link)
Me too! I can't imagine using soap as a lube, especially if one's already feeling a bit tender, but even if one's not and doesn't want to be, you know? [shudder]

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. :D

Angie

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[info]amygirl
2007-01-07 06:34 pm UTC (link)
Heee! Poor Eric. Cute ficlet.

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[info]angiepen
2007-01-07 06:57 pm UTC (link)
Thanks. :D But how come everyone who reads this feels sorry for Eric?? The big doofus brought this upon himself! Poor Orlando's the injured party -- literally! -- and no one feels sorry for him! [heavy, theatrical sigh]

;)

Angie

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]amygirl, 2007-01-07 07:14 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]angiepen, 2007-01-07 07:18 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]msilverstar
2007-01-07 07:30 pm UTC (link)
Heee! I love realistic obstacles!

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[info]angiepen
2007-01-07 07:36 pm UTC (link)
Heh, thanks. :D I do too -- I'd read one too many fics with the guys just blithely using soap and had to do something. [grin] Glad you liked it!

Angie

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[info]slashorama
2007-01-07 10:28 pm UTC (link)
OUCH! Poor Orli! I'd be super pissed also, but I think you should solve the no more sex this weekend by having Orli top. *wink wink*

I always wondered about the use of shampoo, soap, basically anything slick you can find in the bathroom. Maybe Johnson & Johnson's no more tears baby shampoo might work in a pinch, but how many gay guys would have that? LOL.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]angiepen
2007-01-08 08:33 am UTC (link)
I think you should solve the no more sex this weekend by having Orli top.

"That's always a possibility, sure," said Orlando, carefully carving a huge dildo out of an industrial-sized block of soap. "Just give me a minute to finish this...."

;)

I always wondered about the use of shampoo, soap, basically anything slick you can find in the bathroom.

I think this is another case of people who should get a little more personal experience of sex before they try to write it. [wry smile] Or at least think things through a bit. Soap can burn like hell and as someone up in comments pointed out, many lotions have alcohol in them, which also burns. Baby shampoo is a possibility but using something meant to lather heavily, as most shampoos are, could have interesting side-effects; it'd be rather like using dish soap, I would think. [ponder]

At any rate, I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks! :D

Angie

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]slashorama, 2007-01-08 05:54 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]angiepen, 2007-01-08 06:36 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]slashorama, 2007-01-08 06:49 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]foxrafer
2007-01-08 11:44 am UTC (link)
This is very nice. Poor Eric, still needs to learn the boy scout creed!

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[info]angiepen
2007-01-08 12:15 pm UTC (link)
Seriously, heh. [ponders a little nylon-mesh (waterproof) bag with a tube of lube in it for Eric to hang around his neck at all times. ;)

Thanks for the comment -- I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

Angie

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[info]jackieville
2007-01-09 04:14 am UTC (link)
I feel so bad for Orli but I can't stop giggling! I think Eric better start kissing ass! LOL

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[info]angiepen
2007-01-09 08:42 am UTC (link)
Literally, LOL! :D Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. [wave]

Angie

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[info]themathguy
2007-11-15 03:52 am UTC (link)
Ouch! Bar soap + anal = bad idea! Although a mild hand soap works much better, in case anyone is wondering. Not all soaps will sting you in the ass.

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[info]angiepen
2007-11-15 01:10 pm UTC (link)
Thanks. [grin] And yeah, I've seen this so many times in fiction and I just have to wince every time. Glad you liked my take on the situation. :)

Angie

(Reply to this) (Parent)


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