June 1st, 2008

Orlando Smiling -- mine

Two Picks and a Pan

So the husband and I went to dinner and the movies last night and had a wonderful time. :) We saw Prince Caspian and Iron Man and enjoyed both very much. And I've been reading a Harry Potter book I got at BayCon, which I haven't been enjoying at all.

Cuts are for spoilers.

Prince Caspian was excellent, with more of the same incredible special effects and costuming and all from the first movie. Collapse )

Ben Barnes, who plays Prince Caspian, is awesomely gorgeous, though, and the sort of Spanish accent the Telmarines have just adds extra brownie points. [dazed squee] I wanted to jump his bones, seriously, and I don't care that I'm old enough to be his mom, LOL! I seriously want someone to write some Ben Barnes/Rob Pattinson slash, just because they're both that pretty. Or even Ben Barnes/Will Moseley, which I'll admit would be a lot easier to set up since they're both in Caspian. Or heck, Ben Barnes with anyone else who's hot. Because seriously, that boy needs to be slashed. :D

Iron Man is teh awesome. I think it's one of the best super hero movies I've seen, ever. I've never been much of a Robert Downey Jr. fan -- didn't DISlike him, just never thought about him much one way or the other -- but he totally rocks as Tony Stark. I also want to jump his bones, which is a bit more socially acceptable since I'm only two years older than he is. ;) But the whole movie rocks. Downey does a great job, and so do Gwyneth Paltrow (Pepper Potts [wince]), and Terrence Howard (Rhodey) and Jeff Bridges (Obadiah).

The effects are incredible -- I especially liked the bit in the trailer where he's playing air-tag with a couple of jet fighters, and the whole scene in the movie is even better -- but since Tony Stark is supposed to be this genius inventor/engineer, they gave him some really great gadgets just around his house. Collapse )

Still, overall Iron Man rocks, and I wouldn't mind seeing it again. Oh, and when you go see it, stay through the credits! :D There's a great tag at the very end, and I'm squeeing over the casting there, although I know some folks will probably be grouching about it.

And the book. [sigh] One of the books I got at BayCon was Henry Potty and the Pet Rock. It's an unauthorized Harry Potter parody (says so right on the cover) and I thought it looked like fun. Ummm, not so much. I mean, the idea is good, but the execution doesn't work so well. It just isn't funny. :( Actually, it's pretty lame. Here's the first scene, skipping the Introduction and the Prologue, both of which are also trying to be funny and are also failing:

In a house so ordinary that it fairly screamed not to be noticed, from the beige carpet that went with everything (including stains) to the Beware of Rabid Hamster sign that kept out the salesmen, there lived a family. It was a perfectly ordinary family, consisting of Mr. and Mrs. Dorky, their son, Dumpy, and their gallant yet ill-treated household slave.

Oh, Henry Potty preferred calling himself a freedom-inhibited individual, but the name didn't change the situation as much as he'd hoped. Even subscribing to Menial Drudges United Newsletter did little to relieve his suffering. Still, Henry smiled through the abuse as Dumpy Dorky tried to pull his ears off and experimented on Henry with his sinister mold growing kit. For Henry knew that he was special. You see, he had...a destiny.

Henry had known this ever since he stumbled across the note that had been left beside his basket. All of the best heroes have been abandoned in baskets, starting with Breadbasket Fred, who went on to start a national chain of French fry restaurants. In any case, the letter caught Henry's attention thanks to the six inch letters on top that said, "Never, under any circumstances allow Henry Potty to read this letter." His cousin had left it in Henry's room, less from a sense of destiny and more from the fact that he still hadn't learned to read. He was only twelve, after all.

The letter read, "Destiny has marked this boy for greatness. Bring him up so he doesn't get a stuffed head. Oh, and make sure he wears clean socks. I can't abide foot fungus. Signed, a Mysterious Elusive Benefactor who prefers to remain incognito for the time being."

Henry knew that someday, someone would come and rescue him from his life of servile drudgery. Oh, not his parents. Lames and Jelly had been killed years ago, either from slipping on a pair of banana peels and falling to their deaths or getting hit by a rampant llama, his aunt didn't remember which. But someone, somewhere, cared enough to rescue him from a tragic life of foot fungus. And they would find him, eventually. Maybe. Henry was just glad he had so many definite facts to reassure himself with.

In the meantime, there was his fan club. Since Henry had a destiny, he knew that in the future, people would break down the doors of his house to beg for his autograph. Just as well to build his fan base now, so it would be all ready when fame and fortune followed. Besides, it gave him something pleasant to think about after his monthly scrubbing of his cousin's undershorts.

Umm, yeah. It doesn't get any better. Or at least, it hasn't gotten any better by page twenty-eight, which is where I am and where I'm bailing. I've read a lot funnier fanfic. Heck, I've written a lot funnier fanfic. At this point, this is just $9.99 I'm never going to see again. If you're a Harry Potter fan and see this book, save your money.

Use it to go see Iron Man again. :D